Depp V. Turd


Ian Johnson, Editor

Angry at your husband? Try out Defecation 101: a Masterclass run by the one and only Amber Heard. Talk about a poopy disaster!

In the recent Defamation trial with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, testimonies are getting rather… crappy and are definitely moving in all sorts of ways. If viewers have not gotten as involved in the trial as others, here is a brief rundown of how everything started and how it is going: In 2012, Aquaman actress, Amber Heard, and actor Johnny Depp got into a relationship. After three years the two married in 2015 and divorced in 2017. In 2018 Ms. Heard made claims of being assaulted by Mr. Depp and labeling herself as a victim of domestic abuse. She has accused Depp of throwing an iPhone at her face and causing injury, sexually assaulting her with a bottle of alcohol, and other horrific acts. With the claims being as strong as they are, Mr. Depp took action.

The Washington Post released an opinion piece Op-ed with Amber Heard. It was this article that caused Johnny Depp to sue for $50 million. Because of such serious claims in said op-ed, multiple companies have refused to do business with Johnny Depp and have also removed him from several casts such as The Pirates of the Caribbean and The Fantastic Beasts franchise. All across the globe he is being labeled as an ‘abuser’ and ‘wife-beater’ without anyone hearing his side. 

In April of 2022 Mr. Depp took this issue to court. Now the Public is able to see what exactly is going on from a legal standpoint. John Christopher Depp II is suing Amber Laura Heard for libel and defamation. The Depp V. Heard trial began on April 12, 2022 in Fairfax County, Virginia, according to the current  Wikipedia status. 

Many have testified on both ends, and let’s just say that Amber is really feeling the heat right now. In 2016, Amber Heard planned a two day trip to Coachella, a festival that many celebrities attend in southern California. Mr. Depp saw this as an opportunity to go downtown. In his own words, “It’s the perfect time. She’s not going to be home for two days.”  However, there was one thing stopping him from a wonderful day out in the city. When Depp told his chauffeur and security personnel, Starling Jenkins III, he was in for a big surprise. He tells Jenkins about his plans, “Then he [Starling Jenkins II] showed me a photograph on his telephone of … it was a photograph of our bed, and on my side of the bed, was human fecal matter,” reports Johnny Depp on the stand at trial. Depp described this experience as “so bizarre and so grotesque.” He was  baffled while others in the courtroom didn’t know how to respond. This situation was addressed with Ms. Heard. It was all reportedly just “a horrible practical joke gone wrong,” claims Jenkins who discussed the matter with Amber Heard. 

The Depp v Heard trial is arguably the most peculiar one the world has seen in recent years. There are plenty of supporters for both Ms. Heard and Mr. Depp. The issue is that there are people who justify Heard’s action, specifically those who support defecating on someone’s bed out of pure spite. It is actually quite interesting. Supporters of Amber Heard are just as crazy as she is. On Twitter, #IStandWithAmberHeard is currently trending. Under this tag, Twitter user @MCJPeel tweeted, “It is sick that a woman has to repeatedly open about her assault, her abuse, her threats of rape and harm to back it up with ample evidence only for the world to tell her she’s doing it for fun & money. Does she look happy to you?”

Domestic violence and sexual assault is not something to be taken lightly. It is quite cruel that if a man comes out about abuse it is swept under the rug. That is why people are so angry at this whole situation. Whether Amber is guilty or she is the purest soul, people need to make up their minds about who they are supporting. The only way to stop pushing men’s feelings and experiences aside is by listening to their stories and not immediately label them as the monster.